Saturday, September 30, 2006
{ 12:32 AM }
Someone once said that in order to love fully, youhave to risk having your heart broken.Too many people in infatuations, romanticrelationships and marriages make the mistake ofwithholding love. Most of our relationships haveboundaries. We use them for protection. We've beenhurt before, and we're afraid of becoming toointimate with someone lest we get hurt again. As aresult, there is mistrust, we play mind games,withhold who we truly are, and refuse to cede ourpower and pride.Trust takes a while to develop. The problem iswhen someone is never able to be completely openand honest. In order to have an intimaterelationship with anyone, we must first love andtrust ourselves. If we are untrustworthy, weprobably will not be able to trust anyone else.The problem is often not the other person. Theproblem is when we make unsound choices basedonour insecurities and fears.It's good for us to be able to see our own areasthat need improving. However, it is distorted tobelieve ourselves to be unlovable. No matter whowe are or what we've done, what we choose to dowith our lives is a matter of free will. We can,at any time, change our thinking and immediatelybegin changing our experience. That is, if weprefer to grow rather than wallow in self pity.Until we can truly accept and love ourselvesexactly as we are, close, loving relationshipswill be hard to come by. Instead, we'll findourselves dogged by unhealthy, secretive andselfish relationships.If we can resign ourselves to be in that perfectplace of love, where we are giving, loving, andtrustworthy for others, people will come into ourexperience. Some will be healthy for us and otherswill be draining. To attract those who willresonate with us, we can simply speak softly ourhighest truth and stand quietly in our integrity.Those who cannot bear the light will slip backinto the shadows.It is often easier to love those we haven't metthan those we face daily! Potential partners arealways more attractive and interesting in ourimagination and in their distance. We always wantwhat we do not have. When we do have it and theillusion falls away, we find that we are unable todeal with the reality, and begin to hanker afteranother false image.If we would be loved, we must be loving. If we canlook beyond the humanness of another - that is,the weakness and fallibility of being human - thenwe can see the beauty within. It's that beautythat we fall in love with. That grows ever morelovely even as age creases the skin, loosens themuscles and greys the hair.Love is an infinite commodity. You can't give itaway without creating more. You attract into yourlife that which you are. To find the right person,be the right person
Labels: reads
